Achieve a Balanced Perspective and TRUST ME ON THIS by Lauren Parvizzi
- Marisa Gelfand
- a few seconds ago
- 2 min read
Aurora and Zahra are very different half-sisters.
Aurora is a rising star, a celebrity who gets recognized. Aurora is bubbly and relentlessly optimistic—to a fault. Even if someone’s obviously taking advantage of her, she sees a silver lining.
Zahra is the opposite. She is a talented chef who prefers her kitchen to the outside world. If someone wants to spend time with her, or if she’s faced with a novel situation, she automatically assumes the negative.
The sisters aren’t close. But when their father calls to say he’s sick and needs them, everything changes. Aurora is excited to reconnect. Zahra isn’t. Especially since she doesn’t fly. So now, they're on a road trip headed to their father, with all the awkward silence, unexpected laughs, and old wounds you’d expect.
Aurora and Zahra use the same mental trap, mental filtering, from opposite ends. Mental filtering occurs when someone zeroes in on either the all-good or the all-bad while tuning everything else out.
Aurora’s version is sunshine: she ignores the negative, even when reality throws up red flags. Zahra’s is all storm clouds—she dismisses anything that suggests things aren’t completely terrible.
Mental filtering distorts reality. When using tinted glasses, you miss out on the full picture. Without that, making good decisions or connecting with the world is hard.
Here are tools to eliminate mental filtering and achieve a balanced perspective.
Fact or Opinion: Facts are verifiable. Opinions are interpretations of facts. When you catch yourself reacting, ask: Is this a fact or an opinion? If it’s a fact, see if you are missing context. If it’s an opinion, find other ways to interpret the same info.
Question Your First Thought: If you use mental filtering, don’t run with your first thought. Pause, set it aside, and keep going—second, third, even tenth thoughts. Keep digging until you land on something that feels balanced and grounded.
Phone a Friend: Ask someone you trust how they see the situation—it might show a perspective you hadn’t considered. Or flip it: if your best friend were in your shoes, what would you tell them? Chances are, you’d be balanced and compassionate.