Emma dreamed of becoming a screenwriter. But, when her father needed full-time care, Emma put her life on hold for him. That is, until Emma got an offer she couldn’t refuse: ghost co-writing a rom-com with her favorite screenwriter, Charlie Yates.
There were catches. Charlie didn’t want to work with Emma. Also, he hated rom-coms and didn’t believe in love. Reluctantly, Charlie agreed to co-writing. Step one in breaking Charlie’s cynicism was helping him believe in love. Emma’s plan included fun (flirty) experiences, like line dancing, and authentic emotional conversations.
Emma did change Charlie’s perspective. In the process, she and Charlie both experienced catharsis.
The term catharsis was originally used to describe the emotional discharge a playwright hopes to provoke in an audience (think Greek Tragedies…or Rom-Coms). In therapy, catharsis refers to releasing pent-up emotions that get in the way of life's momentum. Healthy catharsis subscribes to the belief that strong emotions are completely fine when experienced (not repressed) and, ultimately, released.
These tips for achieving catharsis come in partnership with Emma’s words of wisdom (thank you, Katherine Center, for doing the therapy heavy lifting).
Pause and Face Sadness: You can’t skip over heartbreak, no matter how much you want to avoid it. Picture repressed woe like a sticky substance filling up your insides and catharsis as the cleaning process that moves it from unmanageable inside to workable outside.
Witness and Be Witnessed: Listening to other people’s stories provokes empathy, which can be applied to yourself and others. Putting words to experiences is empowering. Both listening and sharing in these weighty conversations take emotional courage (which is “its own reward.”)
Reframe Happily Ever After: “Tragedy is a given. There is no version of human life that doesn’t involve reams of it.” Think of HEA not as perfection but as: “…they built a life together, and looked after each other, and made the absolute best of their lives.” Comfort with imperfection makes talking about hard times easier. And talking helps.
Love Katherine Center? Me too. Check out this post on Accepting and Requesting Help and Hello, Stranger, another Katherine Center book.
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