When Camilla wakes up, her husband Luke isn’t there. It’s weird and slightly worrisome that Luke left early on their daughter’s first day of daycare following maternity leave. But, Camilla reasons, Luke is reliable and steady—a good husband and father. Everything’s probably fine. Daycare drop-off is hard and unremarkable, and the first day back at work is busy. Camilla’s worries abate.
Then the police arrive, and Camille sees the news. Luke is holding three people hostage. He ultimately releases one hostage, kills the other two, and escapes – disappearing without a trace and leaving his family behind to deal with the consequences.
Years pass with Camilla wondering. Is Luke alive? Will she and her daughter ever see him again? Why did her seemingly wonderful husband take hostages and murder people? What else doesn’t she know? The uncertainty is destabilizing.
Uncertainty is when a person has limited knowledge and a weakened ability to make plans, predict, or control the future. The inability to accurately impact or predict expectations is distressing and leads to increased stress and anxiety. Uncertainty is always a part of life, and some people even find a certain amount of uncertainty exciting. But, when uncertainty becomes overwhelming, there are positive steps you can take.
Here are tips for coping with uncertainty:
Avoid Generalizing: Uncertainty can seem to expand into all life domains. Write a list of what is uncertain and another of what is concrete, understood, or known.
Identify the Feelings Uncertainty Provokes: Next to each item on your uncertainty list, write the specific feeling provoked, which might include frustrated, weak, scared, startled, lonely, etc.
Engage Targeted Coping Skills: Respond to feelings with impactful healthy behaviors. For example, if feeling lonely, spend time with friends; if feeling weak, try empowering experiences.
Focus on the Present: Uncertainty encourages worry about the future. Deal with a wandering mind by redirecting it to the here and now and focusing on your current surroundings.
Love Gillian McAllister? Me too. Check out my post on Turn Towards To Strengthen Relationships and JUST ANOTHER MISSING PERSON by Gillian McAllister
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