“There are a thousand ways that love ends, but there is only one way it begins and that’s by opening your heart to another.”
Patrick is on a mission. He has a European vacation to convince his niece and nephew that they shouldn’t sabotage their widowed father’s upcoming wedding. To do this, Patrick figures, he must “teach these kids about love, how to love others, and how to be loved in return.”
Patrick isn’t sure he’s the best teacher. The first great love of Patrick’s life died suddenly, years earlier. Overwhelming grief caused him to move to Palm Springs, where he marinated in his loneliness until called to action to help his niece and nephew grieve the death of their mother. Only then did he allow himself to experience love – platonic for his family and romantic for a new boyfriend – again. But, Patrick recently broke up with his boyfriend, leaving open the question of whether Patrick was the best person to deliver a pro-love message.
Ultimately, Patrick taught the kids a modified version of the Five Love Languages, which healed his and their hearts.
The Five Love Languages describe ways that people show and experience love. The list is a non-exhaustive starting point that identifies behaviors that express love and helps people figure out how they and their partners most enjoy giving and receiving love.
This holiday season, I hope you remember that there are many ways to give and receive love outside of gifts. Here are the tools and tips for learning love and the Five Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation: Words you say or write that express affection, encouragement, or adoration. Think: “I love you,” “I respect you,” and “I enjoy being with you.”
Quality Time: Time spent together, focused on each other (not a phone), in a shared activity, conversation, or experience.
Physical Touch: Showing care with physical contact that can range from G-rated behaviors like hugs or squeezed hands to sex or other physical intimacy.
Acts of Service: Lending a helping hand with thoughtful deeds or general help that makes the other person’s life a little easier or more enjoyable.
Gifts: When using gift-giving as a love language, focus on finding meaningful items to the other person. A generic gift is less effective than something emotionally evocative.
Love Steven Rowley? Me too. Check out my posts on two of his other books: