Rachel is confident and charismatic. She is deeply embedded in a close-knit group of friends who share their lives regularly through a group chat. Often, Rachel takes the lead in these conversations. Despite their consistent support and acknowledgment of her challenges, she frequently overlooks her friends' struggles. Rachel believes she has the best solutions for any problem, considers herself the most attractive person in any room, and thinks the world revolves around her. In her eyes, she is flawless. However, this sense of perfection is arguably her greatest flaw. Rachel’s genuine goodness is overshadowed by her inability to see herself in the context of others.
Rachel experiences main character energy.
"Main Character Energy" is a term used to describe a mentality and behavior, not a diagnosis. It refers to individuals who view themselves as the consistent central character and struggle to share the spotlight with others. People with main character energy tend to be extroverted, charismatic, and confident—generally positive traits. However, these attributes are taken to the extreme, leading them to dominate conversations and seek constant external validation. It’s off-putting and leads to social problems.
Here are tools for moderating main character energy.
Identify Your Values: Reflect on what matters to you in relationships, particularly equality, listening, and providing support. Everyone values time and attention, and you may unintentionally take up more space than you realize.
Slow Down: Even when trying to moderate attention-seeking behaviors, you may still feel the urge to dominate the conversation for short-term satisfaction. To counter this, pause before speaking and ask yourself, “Am I trying to redirect the conversation to focus on me?” If the answer is yes, stay quiet.
Spotlight Others: Challenge yourself to focus more on others during conversations. Spend entire discussions highlighting their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Notice how this shift in attention impacts your relationships and how people respond to you.