Reclaiming Confidence in Midlife and WE ALL LIVE HERE by Jojo Moyes
- Marisa Gelfand
- Apr 12
- 2 min read
Lila’s life is spiraling. She wrote a book about how to keep a marriage strong. But just before it hit the shelves, her husband left her for another woman—and, surprise, she’s pregnant with Lila’s ex-husband’s baby. To make matters worse, Lila’s mom, once her pillar of support, passed away recently, provoking her stepfather to move in with Lila and her daughters. Then, her estranged biological father shows up, asking if he can stay with her.
On top of everything, Lila’s behind on the manuscript she’s supposed to be writing about all the wild, empowering sex she’s (fictitously) enjoying as a newly single 40-something.
But between the chaos of dealing with her two dads, her angsty teenage daughters, the humiliation of her ex’s new relationship, and the constant stress of keeping her life from falling apart, Lila’s confidence has shattered.
Midlife is a pressure cooker for women. They're expected to be perfect mothers, climb the career ladder, maintain passionate relationships, and care for aging parents—all at once. It's an impossible standard. When they inevitably fall short of these unrealistic expectations, many are left grappling with shame and a loss of confidence.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
We have the power to redefine what it means to thrive in midlife. Confidence doesn’t come from perfection—it comes from living in alignment with our values and honoring who we truly are.
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Here are tools for reclaiming confidence in midlife.
Celebrate Authenticity: Identify the values, priorities, people, and activities that matter to you. Use this to guide your choices. Stop measuring your life against society’s expectations. Instead, ask yourself: Are my actions aligned with what I care about?
Step Into The Light: Some days, you’ll feel on top of the world; others, not so much. Your mood will shift, your appearance will evolve, and that’s all part of being human. Rather than shrinking into midlife invisibility, share your voice and take up space in the areas where you shine.
Embrace a New Narrative: Midlife doesn’t have to revolve around everyone else. It can—and should—be a season of power, purpose, and success on your own terms.
Love Jojo Moyes? Me too. Check out my post on Starting Self-Care and SOMEONE ELSE'S SHOES by Jojo Moyes.
