Reigniting Relationships and JANE AND DAN AT THE END OF THE WORLD by Colleen Oakley

Jane and Dan would typically celebrate their anniversary at the Macaroni Grill. But tonight, they are dining at the uber-upscale restaurant La Fin Du Monde.  It’s meant to be a special occasion but not panning out well. Jane is mentally checked out of the marriage—dissatisfied, bored, and worried that Dan has cheated. They’ve tried couples therapy and read some books, but nothing helped. As the meal begins, she drops a bombshell: Jane wants a divorce.

Before they can process Jane’s statement, the restaurant is taken hostage. Jane and Dan are forced to confront their feelings amidst a shocking situation. The upheaval allows them to rediscover themselves and each other in ways that reignite their relationship.

Many couples, especially in midlife, deeply love each other but struggle to find the fun that once defined their relationship. Core components of the relationship remain intact—there’s healthy communication, trust, commitment, and intimacy—but the spark is gone. If left unchecked, this boredom can escalate into a serious relationship problem.

Here are tools for reigniting relationships.

Prioritize Fun Together: Life can be a cycle of responsibilities and routines. Avoid the trap of only spending time together when you're both exhausted. Set boundaries around your commitments, make time for joy, and dedicate regular, intentional time to connecting with your partner while doing something fun and mutually enjoyable.

Make the Mundane Playful: Adult life involves managing responsibilities like work, errands, and childcare. Infuse playfulness into everyday tasks by running errands as a team, discussing plans at your favorite coffee shop, or making family decisions while on a leisurely walk. Adding adventure to these moments can transform them into opportunities for connection.

Keep Discovering Each Other: A relationship doesn’t ever have to become stale. People constantly evolve, so there’s always more to learn about your partner. Stay curious. A great way to spark new conversations is by using the Card Decksapp from the Gottman Institute, which offers a variety of couples’ conversation starters.

Jane and Dan at the End of the World by Colleen Oakley

Love Colleen Oakley? Me too. Check out my post on Catastrophizing and THE MOSTLY TRUE STORY OF TANNER AND LOUISE by Colleen Oakley.